I stopped the small talk about my impact on the world, and questioned existence of humanity and free will itself.Įverything played out like in this masterful piece of fiction. When I realized it, I lost my "charm" too, just like people claim Max did in third part. I was like fish out of the water, lost my sense of humor, got vulgar, and edgy as fuck. You basically can't get more intimate with interactive medium than this unless you're literally Max Payne himself."The genius of the hole: No matter how much time you spend climbing out, you can still fall back down in an instant." It felt like puberty hit me with time-delay because I never had this stage in my life. The illusion comes afterwards, when you ask 'Why me?' and 'What if?'. When you look back and see the branches, like a pruned bonsai tree, or forked lightning. It would be someone else looking back, asking a different set of questions." If you had done something differently, it wouldn't be you. "The past is a puzzle, like a broken mirror. As you piece it together, you cut yourself, your image keeps shifting. "When entertainment turns into a surreal reflection of your life, you're a lucky man if you can laugh at the joke. "Your past has a way of sneaking up on you. You'll get mad at everyone for reminding you about it, even if it's all in your head." You'll hear broken echoes of it everywhere, like a bad replay. Our fear of it makes us play safe, blocks out emotion. You try to run from it, but the more you run, the deeper it grows behind you, its edges yawning at your heels. But it's like looking down into the grave of your love, or kissing the mouth of a gun, a bullet trembling in its dark nest, ready to blow your head off." Your only chance is to turn around and face it. "The trouble with wanting something is the fear of losing it, or never getting it.
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